tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53110912011-04-21T20:47:30.505-07:00Me, my life, and all that jazzTaking life one day at a time.mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.comBlogger3711100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1138869000017130312006-02-02T00:26:00.000-08:002006-02-02T00:32:47.540-08:00GhostIf you've been wondering if I'll ever post again, the answer is yes. I've just been using Live Journal more lately. So if you're of a mind to, go update yourself.Things in general right now are so-so. I'm falling slightly behind with this whole life thing...I'm not sure I'm quite used to it yet.And I feel like no matter what I do, any time I try to express how I feel I come off unintentiallymmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1134860910423797092005-12-17T14:59:00.000-08:002006-09-15T14:53:20.663-07:00Getting my list onCompiling a list of movies I must see. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated (see list below). Thanks!1. Lost and Delirious (2001)2. Harold and Maude (1979)3. American Psycho (2000)4. Waking Life (2001)5. Sixteen Candles (1984)6. Empire of the Sun (1987)7. Ying Xiong ["Hero"] (2002)8. Big Lebowski (1998)9. What the #$*! Do We (K)now!? (2004)10. Lost in Translation (2003)11. mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1134358464410473572005-12-11T19:11:00.000-08:002005-12-11T19:34:42.146-08:00Is there anybody out there?I don't think there's any use trying to deny it anymore. I'm depressed. Over the past week I've only come out of my room when I absolutely have to, I'm drifting further and further away from all of my friendships, I'm only eating what I have to to get by, I can't seem to finish any of my work, there's a perpetual listlessness I can't ignore...I feel isolated and alone mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1134210707385975992005-12-10T02:29:00.000-08:002005-12-10T02:31:47.446-08:00Post Script,Matt and I broke up (yes, this is a good thing). We are now just friends (and by friends I really do mean friends, which is lovely).(I seem to like parentheses lately.)mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1134209696402525842005-12-10T02:03:00.000-08:002005-12-10T02:23:51.256-08:00Nobody said it was easyIn the past 24 hours, I've listened to the On the Rocks version of "For the Longeset Time" a total of 16 times. Obsessed? Not really, it's just that it reminds me of Garden Level (the phenomenal(logically hot...ha!) all-male a cappella group here on campus) and I've had it stuck in my head for the past 2 days. And the lyrics are significant, I think:Oh, oh, oh, ohFor the mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1133345082655412372005-11-30T02:02:00.000-08:002005-11-30T02:04:42.840-08:00Appropriate, I should think You're Sweden!After years of trying to rule the world around you, you've finally put aside violence in favor of advocating peaceful resolution. There's still a little Viking in you, but mostly you like Nobel Prize winners and long nights by the fire. And safe cars. You always read the safety manual in airplanes, and you're just a little cold.Take the Country Quizat mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1132548485801126342005-11-20T20:44:00.000-08:002005-11-20T20:48:05.926-08:00Gotta love the abbrev'sDinner tonight was nice.Been feeling uneasy.Excited about going home.Not even going to try to pretend it doesn't bother me that Nate and Kat are dating.I kind of want to vom.mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1132221733489954192005-11-17T01:57:00.000-08:002005-11-17T02:02:38.203-08:00Caulk it and pull itSo I've been using my live journal again (starting yesterday), mostly due to the fact that all of the (super awesome) Davis kids are part of the lj community, so it's convenient, I guess.Don't worry, I'll still update here, but that option is now open as well.(pst, I have a platonic crush on Shanti...but don't tell him!...)mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1132125084990784092005-11-15T23:10:00.000-08:002005-11-15T23:11:25.153-08:00You're so vainRight now I'm torn between being happy and feeling shitty. I have this headache from hell and this way overdue annotative bibliography hanging over me (not to mention the imminence of becoming ill), and yet, I'm somehow feeling pretty good about life in general. I mean, I have lots of reasons to be upset, and it a small way, I suppose I am, but all in all, I'd say I'm happy. This ismmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1131920376130314922005-11-13T14:13:00.000-08:002005-11-13T14:19:36.140-08:00Got your glasses onAt the risk of sounding painfully emo and angsty, I feel put out and betrayed. I feel like over the past few weeks, I've come out of my black hole and found something resembling happiness. And then there was Matt, who just made everything even better. I started spending more time with Pat, and I've started getting to know Eric...great friends. You'd think life would be good...mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1131012140888216892005-11-03T01:55:00.000-08:002005-11-03T02:02:20.900-08:00Tes yeux, commes les bijouxI'm really not sure what to say. Lots of ambiguous chaos...lots of lows, a few mediocre highs, lots of questions. I'm not sure where or who I am at this point (does anyone ever, really?). Over the past few days I've had a lot of thoughts that frighten and baffle me--they don't seem to belong to me. But it too shall pass, I suppose.Nothing is permanent.Tonight involved mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1129622064392803612005-10-18T00:47:00.000-07:002005-10-18T00:54:24.396-07:00Everything is Illuminated(An excellent film...see it).Starting tomorrow, I feel, everything really will be better. (And perhaps my happiness will last for more than a day at a time.) Perhaps.P.S., I have arrived at the mildy depressing conclusion that try as I might, I am not capable of looking emo. (Then again, that's probably not such a bad thing).P.P.S., There is a boy to whom I have not givenmmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1129188590159480252005-10-13T00:21:00.000-07:002005-10-13T00:29:50.166-07:00Two coinsAll be honest here, I'm depressed again. No denial this time. The up-and-down is still there, but a shadow of the down is mercilessly ever-present. Melodramatic? Me? Probably. But what's there is there.Still, I manage, somehow, to find beauty in many things I encounter in the dark.It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, I don't know what I was doing inmmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1129089806955883482005-10-11T20:55:00.000-07:002005-10-11T21:13:22.080-07:00Top 11[specific] things that have made me smile in the past 48 hours (in no particular order):1. The Bell Jar2. Poking3. Coming out as a soul-less Boy Scout slut4. Gene's laugh5. Talking to Jon6. A certain late-night list-making session with Justin, Clay, and Fei7. Jenny Metcalf8. Yelling at Patrick9. A phone call from Dulce10. The awesome feedback on my open scenes with Megan11. Whilst at mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1129010437644518842005-10-10T22:46:00.000-07:002005-10-11T16:11:20.473-07:00Pointing at starsPart of me wishes I could inject large quantities of Prozac to stay somewhat sane. Part of me is elated. And still another (considerably larger) part of me is confused as hell about most things.An interesting statistic occured to me in the SUB lounge today whilst dining with Gene, Susan, and Hannah. I have been here (at Puget Sound) for 7 weeks now and I have made out with 7 mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1128678455868064722005-10-07T02:37:00.000-07:002005-10-07T02:47:35.873-07:00Buffalo vertigoSometimes I just feel inebriated. I start to lose control over goings on and I find myself in strange situations with no real explanation as to how I wound up there. I make choices without really understanding why I've made them.So different.Nickel-sized bursts of pain frequent my upper arms and my tear ducts have decided to start leaking again.My used copy of the Bell Jar arrived mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1128122311007781512005-09-30T15:46:00.000-07:002005-09-30T16:18:31.013-07:00Facts and assertionsI'm in an Elliott Smith and chai tea sort of mood. I miss the coffee garden right now.My room could use a thorough cleaning.Tonight's events will be enjoyable.Both Tom and Clayton will be at Gene's rehearsal. (Yay, audience.)I updated my interests in my Facebook profile. Check it out, yo.I bought a new ring 2 days ago.I enjoy being alone sometimes.Clay's bed is a comfortable mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1128066373968792742005-09-30T00:34:00.000-07:002005-09-30T00:46:13.976-07:00With teethOver a cigarette in the rain with Lucinda earlier this evening, I caught a glimmer of innocence in the air and smiled.This week has been very up and down for me. Luckily, I am now entering another "up phase", which bodes well for the forthcoming weekend. I'd give my overall mood an 8.6.Generally, I'd say, life is lovely.mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1127945522274995132005-09-28T15:11:00.000-07:002005-09-28T15:12:02.280-07:00Je voudrais...1. to let a Dionysian spirit envelope and possess me...like a moment's demon.2. to listen--for once--and not interrupt.3. to let another revel in a moment's glory.4. to foucs on the journey.5. to get things done on time.6. to focus.7. to lose 7 pounds.8. to alleviate jealousy.9. to not cling to expectation.10. to defy gravity.11. to create myself.mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1127874723905845232005-09-27T19:18:00.000-07:002005-09-27T19:32:03.913-07:00GarIf I am to get any kind of satisfaction at all out of life, it will be necessary to lower my expectations. I am not special, and I need to stop subconsciously expecting people to think of me as such. I need to stop setting myself up to fall.But mostly, I need to stop getting upset without reason--it's unhealthy and it doesn't help anything.But despite all of that logic, I still really want to mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1127782724036806172005-09-26T17:49:00.000-07:002005-09-27T15:34:18.886-07:00Blanc jasminSo lately I've been spending a grand amount of time with Gene and Chicken, and often some mixture of our mutual friends. This is a lovely thing, especially given that Gene and Chicken are my 2 favorite people on campus.The only thing that would make things better would be to add in Lucinda more often...and I have a feeling that that just might happen someday soon.Today on our way to mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1127202670557394932005-09-20T00:38:00.000-07:002005-09-20T00:51:10.706-07:00FlatlineSometimes we don't do the things we want to do so that others won't know that we want to do them --Ivy WalkerI seem to have hit several minor snags along the way to creating myself. Frustration and small amounts of anger have ensued.I don't think anyone really understands what I'm trying to say, but that's probably largely due to my withholding of certain details. I wish I could explain mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1126861413829735912005-09-16T01:41:00.000-07:002005-09-16T02:05:33.083-07:00A series of fortunate eventsUgly Bowling!!Justin vs. Fei...Stare down!HaliErin, our Perspectives leader (who looks like she just peed herself) and ClayGroup Shot! (Top row, left to right: Amanda's arm, Lauren, Justin, Elena, Corinne, Fei, Clay, Gretchen, Max, Kevin. Bottom row: Me, Maddy, Clarcie, Erin, Anita)Our trip to Seattle...We took the bus (Anita makes funny faces)Lunchtime! The only mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1126860037904172782005-09-16T01:11:00.000-07:002005-09-16T01:40:37.956-07:00The Brady BunchMeet the members of my floor (the Humanities floor)! There are 17 of us altogether, but there are a few whose pictures I don't have yet...those will be added soon. (those marked with * are "Humanities in Training" or H.I.T., meaning, they don't live on our floor, but they're close friends, anyway).Elizabeth (a.k.a. Fei..loves Les Mis--just like me!)Barbara (lives in Hawai'i and mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1126503849607361532005-09-11T22:21:00.000-07:002005-09-11T22:44:09.613-07:00Therapy: channeling my inner-StephIt's not that I'm craving the presence of other people...I just can't handle being around myself because I'm so angry. Angry that I'm attention starved, angry that I can't say the things I really mean, angry that I'm so unmotivated...and I feel so helpless...hopeless...joyless, even. Let's not go there again. Once was quite enough. I don't want to prove myself mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1126477207137195812005-09-11T15:08:00.000-07:002005-09-11T15:20:07.143-07:00Yellow pillToday I'm feeling overwhelmed. Vindictive. Cynical. Snapish. Shrewd. Bitchy...Whatev. One of those moods where I'm upset with everything because nothing goes the way I want it to and sympathy (from either end of the line) doesn't seem to exist. One of those moods where all I want is for someone to talk to me and make me feel better, but I enevitably begin to feel tense, pissed off, andmmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1125648636583136842005-09-02T01:10:00.000-07:002005-09-02T01:10:36.590-07:00New DeepSo now that I've discovered a whole new me (largely do to the "startling" revelation that I am, by definition, absurd), I find life much more relaxing (in general). Although, I must say that this recent infestation of laziness and procrastinating tendencies is most unwelcome.Earlier tonight I attended a floor meeting for the 3rd floor of Schiff. Why? Because no one objected to me coming mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1125439640941453762005-08-30T14:51:00.000-07:002005-08-30T15:09:25.863-07:00You would live a hundred years, if I could show you howLast night, in a heroic effort to save Clay's life, I killed the largest spider I have ever laid eyes on. It was pretty cool.Last night, also, I met Erik--a "Facebook friend"--for the first time in person. That was an enjoyable experience. He is a cookie dough fiend and a pending music major, which therefore makes him cool.I also made 2 mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1125359686709715172005-08-29T16:48:00.000-07:002005-08-29T16:54:46.716-07:00BlinkingI'm not going to lie--right now I'm feeling dejected. I'm inclined to blame it on fatigue and PMS, but I know that's never the whole reason for anything.I suppose at the moment, I'm secretly hoping that someone will read my mind and come give me a hug. No words, no questions, just a hug. But this is the real world, and things like that don't just happen like you'd want them to.In some mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1125217866926476372005-08-28T01:28:00.000-07:002005-08-28T23:21:36.753-07:00Sex?Hmmm, so I received a request for some more poetry, so here's one of my more recent projects. (A more relevant, informative post will ensue in the days to come, stay tuned.)An elephant becomes less beautifulWith hurricane wreckage spilling from my mouth capillaries burst--behind my lenses, behind my eyes, providing (where is the baby?) the ignorance of a moment's fold, sifting through a mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1124955341722715612005-08-25T00:01:00.000-07:002005-08-25T01:18:58.346-07:00Goodbye Blue SkyWhew. Ok, so now that I've managed to find 60 seconds of unfilled time, I can sit down and fill all my eager readers in on the past week.I'd like to start out by simply saying that thus far, college is beyond awesome. I've met sooooooooo many awesome people and the atmosphere is lovely. I can't even begin to describe how great it is to engage in literary discussions with mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1124181763731413242005-08-16T01:35:00.000-07:002005-08-16T01:42:43.736-07:00(to be continued...)After all of these weeks of tearing myself up over whether Paul likes me or not, I finally have an answer. And that answer is no. So how do I feel about that? I feel so greatful! I could never have enjoyed my last night at work or my last moments with Fred so much if I had still been worrying about Paul. It all came down to logic, in the end (for once); Paul is not my type, mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1123835073303063782005-08-12T00:56:00.000-07:002005-08-12T01:24:33.340-07:00Emergency exitBreakfast and dinner both consisted of frozen cupcakes. Lovely.Lately, I guess you could say Beck has been my muse. But I still can't figure out what "guero" means. Something to do with war, most likely, but I have yet to discover what, exactly.Today I compiled the perfect bohemian ensemble--I was pleased. I also managed to score the new Dredg album when Cameron, Greg, William, Alexmmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1123703590193301912005-08-10T12:30:00.000-07:002005-08-10T13:19:30.313-07:00Suffragette CityThere's something mildly pathetic about sitting here watching Full House all morning...but you know, that's ok.Also, upon re-reading previous posts, I've come to realize that everything I write lately comes out sounding dry...I guess it's just a passing phase, but even so...I wouldn't blame any of my readers if they couldn't bring themselves to actually read through the thick mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1123650698844575552005-08-09T22:03:00.000-07:002005-08-10T14:29:18.803-07:00I turn my camera onI seem to be doing this quite a lot lately (blogging, I mean). But that's not a bad thing, really.Tonight was far too long, but other than that it went ok, I suppose. It started off well and then started to go sour, but a self-administered slap in the face (figuratively speaking, of course) helped me to get back on track...I was smiling again within 10 minutes. I just have to mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1123617840532346302005-08-09T12:36:00.000-07:002005-08-09T13:06:59.696-07:00More more moreA well-dressed man came into the restaurant yesterday while that song was playing and insisted to his (also business-attire clad) companion that it had been the theme song to a porno in the 70's. An argument ensued.After spending last night at Brooke's, I discovered several things about her that further confirm my notion of her as an incredibly strong and respectable woman. I'm gladmmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1123532925416572892005-08-08T13:14:00.000-07:002005-08-08T14:32:00.430-07:00Shadow of anxietyCollege draws nearer and my excitement is mounting, though it's a different sort of excitement than I'm used to--more mellow. I feel slightly nervous/guilty for not doing more research with regard to my courses for the next semester...I hope my academic advisor doesn't start to hate me because of it. I'm sure things will turn out just fine, though.I told Brooke I would work for mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1123489110414906542005-08-08T01:16:00.000-07:002005-08-08T01:18:30.416-07:00I like SpoonBy the way, after last night, Fred is ungrounded, but I've arrived at the decision that he is to remain simply a good friend.For unexplainable reasons I can't seem to let go of Paul.mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1123488501729037562005-08-07T23:05:00.000-07:002005-08-08T13:13:25.446-07:00Suitors more suitableMy mother and I watched the end of Vanity Fair this afternoon. I finally discovered that the time period with which I have always been so enamored is called "Regency" (1800-1820) or the Napoleonic period (1799-1837). Good to know. We also made a fair amount of progress with gathering my belongings for school.Tonight at work I was just down in general. I didn't want to have tommhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1123224419219746292005-08-04T23:44:00.000-07:002005-08-04T23:46:59.226-07:00Bulgaria #3This is why I love Brendan:BEAD587: today i conquered bulgaria. what did you do?MistaGuitarMan: woahMistaGuitarMan: i'm talking to a bulgarianBEAD587: no way, crazy. apologize for the abrupt change of leadership for me, will you?MistaGuitarMan: hahaMistaGuitarMan: will doBEAD587: i'll let you enjoy your conversation, i'm going to bed. you can make it up to me later with mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1123223376336274002005-08-04T23:18:00.000-07:002005-08-04T23:30:51.800-07:00My sun-eyed girlHmmmmm. So tonight I bussed for the first time. I was with both Paul and James (who was still training). Paul was especially sweet (just my luck), and, come to think of it, so was James. And on top of it all, Fred came in with Mike and another friend to eat.But Fred is grounded because he failed to administer a proper goodbye upon departure--I'm giving him the chance to make it upmmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1123137501971333512005-08-03T23:05:00.000-07:002005-08-04T22:57:47.440-07:00Dearest Make-Believe Friend,Tonight I watched a large portion of the film Vanity Fair with my mother. Perhaps it's something to do with the formality of films set in England, but somehow I'm now beginning to think much more logically and sensibly.My proposal is as follows and is open to consideration and criticism.Why should I torture myself over two men who may not even be worth my time in the mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1123050878757794792005-08-02T23:00:00.000-07:002005-08-04T13:26:39.716-07:00Oh dearThe following is a series of short letters to an assortment of people. See if you might be one of them. Warning...Honesty level: High.Dear Alex,Why do you have to be such a child? Have you forgotten how much alcohol hurt you in the past? Don't tell me stories about getting drunk and being stupid--I'm not interested. Period. Yes, I still care about you, but right now you're making me angry mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1122923801828822572005-08-01T12:12:00.000-07:002005-08-01T12:16:41.833-07:00Soft hands, he told meToday KC Rommel told me I was gorgeous. It's amazing how a detail so small can totally make your day.Lunch with Brooke at Famous Dave's.Then bus training.Then Fred.Wish me luck!mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1122881075445761232005-07-31T23:29:00.000-07:002005-08-09T13:17:50.213-07:00Dreams and schemes and circus crowdsSo let me introduce you to Mormon Boy # 2. Name: Fred. Age: 21 (had to ask Dulce to verify that one for me--I forgot to ask).Here's the story:After an embarrassing night of being completely ignored by Paul, I was feeling a little down (can you blame me?). I've decided that I don't care whether or not he likes me anymore because I'm sick of being jerked around. mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1122597629921854812005-07-28T17:36:00.000-07:002005-07-28T17:43:02.223-07:00Honest to a faultTruth: It bothers me that Alex is behaving so childishly. He knows better. He doesn't need me to fill the void left by his clueless mother; he can take care of himself. I wish he would do what he's capable of.Truth: Despite years of trying to conquer it, I still overanalyze absolutely everything in my life, and it still gets me into trouble.Truth: I do like Hot Topic. I don't mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1122352960604068192005-07-25T21:29:00.000-07:002005-07-25T21:43:02.083-07:00Too. Much. Drama.I like being able to take a step back and life my life simply and casually--it's nice. In between making plans with Brendan for world domination and amazing sex, I've been hanging out with Paul quite a bit. We had something resembling a date last Thursday, which was very nice. The whole evening was very light and sweet--exactly what I was hoping for. He's not my type at all and mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1121895030693143362005-07-20T14:00:00.000-07:002005-07-20T14:30:30.700-07:00Letting go, letting live.As more days pass, I'm beginning to feel less inclined to write about my own life. Appropriately so, I've come to recognize that this point in my life is extremely liminal and equally as exciting. And with liminality and excitement inevitably comes change.I've shed several layers over the past few weeks: a boyfriend, an obsession (or several obsessions), 12 inches of hairmmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1120969391437265822005-07-09T21:17:00.000-07:002005-07-09T21:23:11.443-07:00Il ne faut pas narguerAs my Santa Fe visit draws nearer, it occurs to me how much I really miss it. The people, the food, the culture. The insanity. But it also occurs to me how much I'm secretly hoping to run into Him. To make peace. Or at the very least, just to see his face again. I miss our friendship. I miss the life we shared.I miss him.We'll see where my path leads me. I'm excited to be mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1120253857272759682005-07-01T14:22:00.000-07:002005-07-01T15:44:00.383-07:00Amen BatmanIt's not who you are underneath, but what you do, that defines youI'd rather not discuss the cruise--it was not a very enjoyable escapade--so let's talk about my job. I'm sure everyone is already sick of me raving about how much I love working at Outback, but lucky for them, no one is forced to read my blog.I have been a hostess at Outback Steakhouse since June 5th. Here are some mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1119066571238998832005-06-17T20:41:00.000-07:002005-06-17T20:49:31.243-07:00Thank God this time it's a cruiseWe leave tomorrow for our cruise and I am again reminded of the reasons family vacations make me uneasy. Shall we review?1. My mother being tense and uptight the night before departure.2. My father getting pissed at her for it. 3. My father staying angry for the rest of the trip.4. My father being my father.Cheers, wish me luck.mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1118789202855300212005-06-14T15:43:00.000-07:002005-06-14T15:52:06.170-07:00Stringing the Green Glass BeadsSo I wrote a new poem the other day. I've been editing it bit by bit since then, and I think I'm finally satisfied with it. But I'd really like some feedback if anyone is of a mind to give it.Tears in E MinorThere's a small shred of plastic comfort in vanity now and then (Don't take credit for my scars, they're fake, too) but do the tears wear real?Each blue shade mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1118077601456100532005-06-06T09:58:00.000-07:002005-06-06T10:06:41.460-07:00Meanwhile, Rick JamesI haven't been keeping up with this as much as I probably should. So here's an update:-I graduated on Saturday.-My brother moved to town last week, so he's managing the Outback Steakhouse in Layton. I just started hostessing there last night.-We (my mom, dad, and I) leave for Huston on June 17. Our cruise sails the morning of the 18th. I'm stoked!-I'm not yet sure when I'll mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1117412339207301252005-05-29T17:04:00.000-07:002005-05-29T17:18:59.230-07:00AftertasteLet's talk about being bisexual. It would appear that harboring same-sex tendencies has become a "trend" within today's youth. And while I think it's great that so many people are open to homosexuality and bisexuality, I think many people are doing it solely for attention. Girls in particular. I think truly in many girls' minds, hooking up with another girl is just a way to get a guy's mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1115184106480906702005-05-03T21:58:00.000-07:002005-05-03T22:21:46.673-07:00Macabre lifeSo I woke up this morning to find myself suddenly 18. I wasn't surprised to find that I had indeed NOT sprouted horns out of my ass or an extra pair of arms from my earlobes. I did, however, wake up to a nice family breakfast. A good start to a lovely day. Nothing entirely all that remarkable, sure, but it was a good day all the same.Alex was wonderful, and I was pleasantly surprised mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1114560586783459412005-04-26T17:08:00.000-07:002005-04-26T17:09:46.783-07:00I remember you. Do you remember me, too?Perhaps someday you'll stumble across the un-opened letters addressed to you.I miss you.mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1114489077767988922005-04-25T21:16:00.000-07:002005-04-25T21:17:57.766-07:00Glimpses of GenoveiveI am colorblindCoffee black and egg whitePull me out from insideI am readyI am taffy stuck and tongue tiedStutter shook and uptightPull me out from insideI am readyI am fineI am covered in skinNo one gets to come inPull me out from insideI am folded and unfolded and unfoldingI am colorblindCoffee black and egg whitePull me out from insideI am readyI am finemmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1114275552503421062005-04-23T09:49:00.000-07:002005-04-23T09:59:12.503-07:00VagueI have arrived at the decision that sometime in the not-too-distant future I would like to publish a chap book of my poetry.I'll release more information when it comes.Here's a preview, I guess:BirdlegsSeven cigarettes agoYou turned away from my bodybut thrust your pelvis into mineStartled a sullen severed intimacyYou swallowed my sins all in one gulpfeathered my insides--your ethereal mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1113786625692133882005-04-17T18:09:00.000-07:002005-04-17T18:10:25.693-07:00...because I suppose some people like to read lyricssome plans were made and rice was throwna house was built, a baby bornhow time can move both fast and slow amazes meand so i raise my glass to symmetryto the second hand and its accuracyto the actual size of everythingthe desert is the sandyou can't hold it in your handit won't bow to your demandsthere's no difference you can makethere's no mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1113203785312869222005-04-11T00:15:00.000-07:002005-04-18T16:48:03.943-07:00P.S.I will be attending the University of Puget Sound in the fall.mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1113194907093709642005-04-10T20:29:00.000-07:002005-04-10T21:48:27.096-07:00Midol is my museI am in a ridiculously good mood. Never mind the mountain of homework that has to somehow find itself finished by tomorrow morning, I haven't felt this content with life for quite some time. And I can't say that I have anything to complain about, for once. Sure, I need to lose 10 lbs, and sure, Evan and I aren't speaking...there are plenty of things that aren't perfect, but that'smmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1112336098145400592005-03-31T22:02:00.000-08:002005-03-31T22:19:00.003-08:00Pictures sometimes say moreFrom Auschwitz. Photographs by Necron.Paintings by johnnywedge.Photos by Viceralmmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1111180297451145882005-03-18T10:38:00.000-08:002005-03-18T13:11:37.453-08:00Funeral DressSo I went to a punk show on St. Patty's Day--appropriate, I should think. For anyone interested in punk, Funeral Dress is definitely a band I recommend--they've got a nice sound. And they're from Belguim--which is cool. SLC punks are nice, I've decided. There was more skanking than moshing, which was slightly disappointing, but all in all it proved to be a good night. Susan and I gotmmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1110601318856209842005-03-11T20:17:00.000-08:002005-03-11T20:21:58.856-08:00Just another brick in the wallWhat were any of us but a handfull of weeds. Who was to say what our value was? What was the value of four Vietnam vets playing poker every afternoon in front of the Spanish market on Glendale Boulevard, making their moves with a greasy deck missing a queen and a five? Maybe the world depended on them, maybe they were the Fates, or the Graces. Cézanne would have mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1110423161847119212005-03-09T18:43:00.000-08:002005-03-09T18:52:41.850-08:00Friends, nonfriends, enemies, lend me your earsOf late I can't seem to shake him from my mind (Yes, the same and only him I ever refer to as "him"). It still bothers ann obscene amount that he chose to cope with an end by trying to erase me--like Joel and Clementine. I wish he wouldn't pretend that we were never in love in the first place. I loved him more deeply than any other--I will never try mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1110251574452147222005-03-07T19:01:00.000-08:002005-03-07T19:13:36.016-08:00Breathe deepEarlier tonight, I cried harder than I have cried in very nearly five years. And I feel better than I have in a long long time. It occured to me that of late I have not taken the time to live--my own life, I mean. I had very nearly drained the spirit out of me. I had almost let go--without even realizing what I was doing.But you know, I think it's going to be better now. I really do.mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1109659810678410172005-02-28T22:40:00.000-08:002005-02-28T22:50:10.680-08:00I'm on a plainIf my mind were any more blank right now I'd worry about brain damage. I keep trying to talk to people, but manipulating words isn't so easy tonight. I'm probably just annoying all of them, anyway.I think the members of Stowe have unanimously decided to hate me. Can't say that I would blame them, really. I mean, I know they don't...but I feel so distant from everyone in Santa Fe mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1109551502322022312005-02-27T16:33:00.000-08:002005-02-27T16:45:02.323-08:00Secrets are most delicious when keptThere are certain memories that don't need to become stories in order to remain good memories. Yesterday is one of them. It unfolded nicely, with some imperfect creases, making it all rather artistic, like bittersweet chocolate. Leaving secrets and promises lingering.P.S., No, this is not a mindtrick to get people to ask me how my weekend went.mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1109110532799793922005-02-22T14:02:00.000-08:002005-02-22T14:15:32.800-08:00Don't let the cattle stand in the wayI've been listening to more punk lately. "See, everone thinks smoking is dangerous because it kills your lungs...but NO! It's dangerous because you fall off the roof!" --AlexSka makes people happy, no matter what. Be happy, listen to ska.mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1108694092136037852005-02-17T18:34:00.000-08:002005-02-17T18:34:52.140-08:00Swedish FishSo I guess this is a double rip-off...I stole it from Brendan who got it from Gabe, but it's too bloody brilliant and accurate not to post. Salt Lake folk, take heed...read on.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Santa Fe is a cruel joke, a caucasian-culture pimple ripening to burst all over the surrounding area. Californians feed its mad mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1108628484093798722005-02-17T00:06:00.000-08:002005-02-17T00:21:24.096-08:00Things fall apartTruly, I don't want to discuss any of this at great length, but it needs to be said that the friends I've made this year are incredible. Really, I'm referring to only 3 people, but those 3 know how to look out for me, I'll tell ya that. And I love them deeply for that.Mr. Lindemann tells us good stories when everyone else is gone.A 4-8 page chemistry paper is supposed to find mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1108430996538895572005-02-14T16:21:00.000-08:002005-08-01T01:16:59.316-07:00Luck be a ladyFace the music and dance. Swing or salsa would be nice, but I'm not picky. Valentine's Day, though doubtless it has become one big commercialized popularity contest, can be nice, I've decided. Once people get over the feel-sorry-for-me blues, I think they'll find that it can be a fun holiday. The basic principle is delicious in and of itself. Love, passion, and the month of Februarymmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1107829649940140572005-02-07T18:19:00.000-08:002005-02-07T18:31:31.066-08:00So ill wind, blow awayEmblem of mock sophistication. If I were less clever, I might idolize you. If I were more, I might ignore you. Frank Sinatra reminds me how two-sided people can be.
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I imagine what it might feel like to be old and still in love sometimes, and smile. Something to look forward to--years of discovery mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1107825975945716562005-02-07T17:25:00.000-08:002005-08-01T01:17:38.476-07:00Last night when we were youngLike empty houses with charcoal windows, your eyes are shrouded in impotence. Never had the chance to see beyond your own front door...too weak to push aside the moldy curtain. Fingernails tinged with disdain and uncertainty--thirsty for yesterday's abandoned passion--your listlessly groping hands insulted mine and wandered away ages ago. Shut away in that dank, mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1107804827273345682005-02-07T12:20:00.000-08:002005-02-07T11:33:47.273-08:00Hot airMental health day. So shoot me. I had a 5-page rough draft due that just did not happen last night due to an unplanned global meltdown (the joys of being female). So my mother woke me up at 6:15 this morning and asked if I'd finished my paper. When I said I still hadn't gotten past an outline and revealed my clever plan to spend 5th period (English) talking to Diane (the counselor) about mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1107740026243809232005-02-06T14:28:00.000-08:002005-02-06T17:33:46.243-08:00Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivionThree people with in 7 hours. That's reason enough to continue for me.
Unfortunately, this post is one long rant/therapy session, so if you're looking for something bight and sunshiney, I'd suggest looking elsewhere.
sometimes i wonder if the sun will stop shining. sometimes i wonder if they'll blow out the moon, it's melted blue flame. i wonder what mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1107706296811043132005-02-06T07:49:00.000-08:002005-02-06T08:11:36.810-08:00Quiet, please.It's 8:49 on a Sunday morning and I'm sitting here in the church office thinking wistfully about how I could still be sleeping. But I got up to come to choir practice...surprise surprise...there is none!
It's recently dawned on me that updating this blog could be a waste of time. I don't think anyone reads it anymore. Which makes me sad. I could just start putting all of my posts mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1107393400976034482005-02-02T17:04:00.000-08:002005-02-03T17:37:11.080-08:00Yar, eh?I haven't had very much insentive to post here as of late. Mostly because of MySpace, I think. But with Brendan back in the blogring, I may become more inspired.
Applying to college has taken a lot out of me, but I'm trying not to worry about it too much. I'll keep you posted on updates in that department as soon as there are any.
I just finished a drawing that I actually kind of like. mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1107231273936603902005-01-31T19:49:00.000-08:002005-01-31T20:17:49.666-08:00A reason to get up in the morningSwanton900: you rock not just my socks off but my shoes too.
NailBunny242: mmmmaaaaaaaaaaaggggggiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee
BEAD587: aaaaaaaaallllllllllleeeeeeeeeexxxxxxx
NailBunny242: MMMMMMOOOOOOAAAAAGGGGGYYYYYIIIIEEEEE
BEAD587: whoa, when did my name inherit an O?
NailBunny242: and a Y
NailBunny242: try saying it
BEAD587: crazy
Ignoring the fact that today was, mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1106880779677067592005-01-27T18:52:00.000-08:002005-01-27T19:15:48.770-08:0010 You's I Hate Things About1. You wear a mask like hers--the one that looks like mine...you leave clumsy fingerprints on the knobs of hidden doors, marking your secret trail...but I know the nature of your intent. I too have wandered such a path--different time, different place, different people, but still, the same sour rotten core. Rotten, decaying, like the rank smell of female flesh long mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1106549231770859992005-01-23T15:29:00.000-08:002005-01-23T22:47:11.770-08:00Tu est le putain et je suis la passeAfter yesterday, I was ready to wear scandalous clothes and say "fuck" as loud as I could manage...modesty, indeed.
But let me back up to Friday, first.
Hockey was fun, just like last week, but this time we were at a different rink. The skates were beyond shitty, but I made due and scored twice, anyway. Sam was there, which made everything even more fun. He'smmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1106196524241063202005-01-19T20:48:00.000-08:002005-01-19T20:48:44.243-08:00Askin' the dust for changeJust as the guilt is inevitable, as is the euphoria of such power. Save me from myself. I don't think it's guilt...more a heightened consciousness of my own depravity as opposed to the untainted innocence of certain others. I need to talk to her...who could possibly understand better? One in the same, the same in one. I like having fun with life again...taking risks and mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1106112488460617352005-01-18T21:28:00.000-08:002005-01-19T21:08:05.193-08:00Some lyrics to chew onFirst thing I remember was lying in the sand
When a plague of seven horsemen
Came across the desert land
They had one good eye between them
They were burning up the sky
When I asked why they had come for me
The ugly one replied
He told me
Ah, you better recognize
Aw, you better recognize, son
Next thing I recall well
I was hanging from a cliff
When an angel came to rescue
mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1106107500723352572005-01-18T19:57:00.001-08:002005-01-23T12:21:14.646-08:00Oblivion, is it?Lulled into insecurity by chamomile, with an inebriating scent, like poisoned pumpkin seeds. Wondering how I got myself into this mess in the first place and loving the feeling of remembering that I'd forgotten how much I love Better Than Ezra.
Today, at first glance, I appear shallow, and at second glance, you'd correct yourself and call me pensive. But both are wrong. I'm just mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1105666173855515502005-01-13T17:29:00.000-08:002005-01-13T17:29:33.856-08:00Hear me ROAR What Famous Leader Are You?personality tests by similarminds.com
mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1105406110917802412005-01-10T17:08:00.000-08:002005-01-10T17:16:55.173-08:00Googlism.com says Maggie is... A lucky dog
On the mainland
Safe
Becoming very
A psychotic Jew witch
Home
A real keeper
'Teh winz'
Crazy
In Thailand
Two notes
Sometimes known as the bitch goddess
Really talking
Not used much at all
Ready to face their situation
Confused/curious
A Siberian husky & was born may 3
Comfortable here
An avid animal lover
Known throughout the us as a mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1105321761592443442005-01-09T17:47:00.000-08:002005-01-09T17:49:21.593-08:00Dear Anonymous:That is precisely why I removed the names of people at the party. Mistake on my part--I didn't realize what I'd done until I'd already written it. Sorry to offend anyone--more caution will be taken in the future.
If anyone takes issue with any other part of this entry (or any other, for that matter) with regard to revealing things that are not mine to reveal, please let me know--mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1105231892617277072005-01-08T15:42:00.000-08:002005-01-16T19:05:46.060-08:00How much did yoooooooou drink?Winter Formal? Scandalous, indeed (it was so fetch!)...Here's a recount (long, sorry):
Unlike Vanessa, Molly, and Nydia, I stayed at school through 6th period before going to get my hair done (they left after 3rd). I got a cut, too, which turned out nicely--it's not such a bitch to brush anymore!! Layers are my friend. The style turned out ok...I've definitely mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1104985143459606432005-01-05T19:54:00.000-08:002005-01-05T20:19:43.003-08:00Remembering Justin
Her voice would not cease, it would just vanish. There would be the dim coffin-smelling gloom sweet and oversweet with the twice-bloomed wistaria against the outter wall by the savage quiet September sun impacted distilled and hyperdistilled, into which came now and then the loud cloudy flutter of the sparrows like a flat limber stick whipped by an idle boy, and the rank smell mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1104892686263846692005-01-04T18:14:00.000-08:002005-01-04T18:40:43.466-08:00Blackberry Seeds
"I should like to drink cream,
from a saucer," say I--
strawb'ry tongue ling'ring
idle in the spoon's womb.
"Don't think he likes me much,"
purred she--cull among Italian wines--
Then burrowed she, her stout, small nose
in elbow's crook, to warm.
"Breathing exhausts," breathes he--
Pinch out that light,
but stifle yet
th'Egregious Flourish.
"Let's leave this world behind," mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1104725391330792052005-01-02T20:04:00.000-08:002005-01-02T20:09:51.330-08:00Top 5 things of the hourPhilGodsmackGenuinity (there's that crazy made-up word again!)CanadaDarkness mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1104724795493891532005-01-02T19:48:00.000-08:002005-01-02T20:13:07.166-08:00Moon Baby
This is the poster I gave Phil for Christmas...it was green and it was Godsmack...I thought it should belong to him. So I bought it.
Sad: Phil said "Buh-bye, I'm leavin' on a jet plane" today and left for the Fe of Santa. But his visit was pure bliss...I missed him a lot. And now I miss him again, but somehow it's not as hard, waiting for these rendez-voux as we thought it would be...mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1104641288817051522005-01-01T20:47:00.000-08:002005-01-01T20:49:15.796-08:00I always knew I was a gay guy at heart...
Damian
Which Mean Girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Hmmm...yeah.
mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1104370030044012812004-12-29T17:23:00.000-08:002004-12-29T17:27:58.603-08:00Son of a...I hate college applications more than anything. Fuck it. I'll get a job a Kinkos and work there for the rest of my life.
P.S., It's raining.mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1104293656994551902004-12-28T19:52:00.000-08:002004-12-28T20:14:16.993-08:00The London underground smells like jizzSo I did the whole Christmas thing...but my real present doesn't come until Thursday...Phil!! (and a new puppy named Charley). And I'm getting an iPod in a few weeks. So what exactly did Santa bring me on December 25th, you might ask? Lots of socks! And a bunch of other cool little things.
The day itself was lovely--very relaxed and low-key. My mom and I mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1103782831049865522004-12-22T22:05:00.000-08:002004-12-22T22:20:31.050-08:00Curved
Something's frantically scratching at my unconscious...like blind mice...but it stays well hidden beneath the surface. Like fragile pieces of an old scroll...written in a past life.
Lots of music these past few days. Calming. Stimulating. Whatever--you pick. Too many memories.
Steph's visit went well. It was great to see her, but I feel like we hardly had any time to talk like we neededmmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1103422361558625032004-12-18T15:36:00.000-08:002004-12-18T18:43:11.210-08:00One short day
I'm inevitably sick again, given that it's the first day of break. And I'm losing my voice. Figures. Been cleaning house all day...oh, the rapture...Worried about certain people.
So here's a breakdown of yesterday:
Drove myself to school accompanied by 2 big boxes of cupcakes and a colorful bag full of burned mix CDs. Ended up speeding more than I meant to and arrived quite earlymmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1103160955781444942004-12-15T17:10:00.000-08:002004-12-15T17:35:55.780-08:00Notorious
Trying my best not to stress about college apps, but in so doing, I seem to be relaxing just a little too much...
In other words, my first deadline is in a month and I still have a lot to do.
Today was just grand. Decided to dress up for my French presentation, which went better than I thought it would. I got lots of complements on my skirt...and I felt tall. I don't think I failed mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1103002843876709492004-12-13T21:31:00.000-08:002004-12-13T21:40:43.876-08:00Stupid Girl
I continue to waste my own time. You'd think I'd eventually learn to shape up and get my act together, but it would appear that I'm perfectly content living like a squirming rodent being held by its tail.
Today went well until it started going badly. And then it just kind of sucked. I feel foolish for caring about anything at all--in retrospect, everything about life seems trivial.
mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5311091.post-1102906503034768672004-12-12T18:36:00.000-08:002004-12-12T18:55:03.033-08:00Sometimes songs and pictures say it better
I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no mmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14950688406798005406noreply@blogger.com0